You Were Born Beautiful - Mindset is Everything
I am sure you have heard the saying “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. And I am sure you know that means: everyone has their own ideas of what is attractive. Despite what the media might lead you to think, there is no one size fits all for anything, especially when it comes to beauty.
Which means, we all can be beautiful in someone’s eyes, but the first person you must convince they are beautiful, is yourself.
A Beauty Mindset is Everything
If you don’t see yourself in a positive light, no one else is likely to see it either. You end up being unbeautiful and invisible for the world to see. Which is what I did to myself in my late teens and early 20's.
True story: I used to hide in my house rather than go out in public because I was ashamed of my appearance. And when I did go out, I used to cover up what I believed to be my flaws with make-up and moo-moos. I never looked at anyone, and, I generally avoided having other people look at me, because I believed they wouldn't like what they saw.
It took me years to learn beauty begins in your mind. And your beauty mindset, what you think about your appearance, personality, and smarts, determines how the world views you back.
My beauty mindset? "Kellie, you are born beautiful".
I discovered how becoming ONE with a healthy, positive "beauty mindset" is everything when it comes to you looking and feeling your best.
How do you discover and own that beauty mindset?
Answer: It starts with identifying where that negative self image came from.
If you have a negative impression of your own appearance, you didn't just make it up. You learned it from someone or something. Because you were born beautiful. You just don't remember.
Let's talk babies to prove this to you as a fact.
All newborns start out the same. They're all cute (even if wrinkly)? Right?? I mean, have you ever seen an unbeautiful baby?
Very small children have no reason to think they are anything other than ‘perfect’. Which is beautiful! They have no concept what "beauty" is. Nor should they.
There is no good or bad, better, or worse, attractive, or unattractive to be found in the happy 3-year-old toddler. Nor does the toddler see any perceived "negative" in others.
That negative self-image comes from the outside: mom or dad, aunt, uncle, gramma and gramps, other children, their parents. And then role in the influencers, including social media, celebrities, TV, and magazines all of which can start to give us doubts about our appearance and self-worth.
And let's not forget family. A dysfunctional family situation is often the worst because it is inescapable for a child. And don’t all children grow up believing their parents always tell the truth?
If you didn't have this negative mindset, learned from all them outside influencers, you would still be thinking how fabulous you are!
Growing up believing unbeautiful.
I was told growing up I was fat and ugly. And would never amount to anything.
Science will tell you (and so will I), once a negative trend is set it can be so difficult to overcome during the developing years, especially in the teen years. This can ‘lock in’ a negative self-image for a lifetime.
This phase can also be the years when the developing person decides to make sure they will not be hurt in the future by intentionally making themselves unattractive.
Sometimes this is done with self-destructive behaviors like drugs, or a socially more acceptable drug, food, like I did. The unstated goal is to replace the lack of positive external acknowledgement with other positive replacement feelings of comfort. And of course, to drive away anyone who might hurt you some more.
Embracing a beauty mindset is everything to looking and feeling beautiful.
A while back there was a British show “How to Look Good Naked”? Have you seen it? The premise might be a little too spicy for some stations but was on British TV for 5 years.
In the show, average (very) women are coached to accept their bodies and change their self-images. And they start by literally getting naked on TV and learning how to ‘re look’ at themselves in a positive way – and its entirely in the mind – no surgery required!
Brave stuff – but in a sense, exactly what is needed, at least in a psychological sense. To get the Beauty Mindset and ‘remember’ the beauty you were born with, you must strip away the false negativity learned in the past.
Three keys to get rid of the unbeautiful mindset and get you back to the beauty you were born with.
Surgery, new wardrobes, psychotherapy – can all play a part, but the simplest, longest lasting , most effective (and most cost-effective way) to start with your own mind. Your mindset is everything when it comes to beauty. And everything else in life.
So, here we go.
1. Getting rid of your own limiting beliefs, your conscious and subconscious thoughts that exist in your mind that hold you back, is the first step.
2. Next is to champion the “little brain in your heart” to conquer fear, self-doubt, and negative emotions.
Meditation is a fantastic discipline that can teach us to separate our minds from the daily fears and concerns that otherwise are with us 24/7. Through meditation we can put things into perspective and create a new way to focus and to think.
You were born beautiful - mindset is everything.
Keep this in mind – its only ‘life’ that has led you to feel less than the beautiful, most wonderful, amazing person you were born. This is all in the past – a more positive and beautiful future is yours to embrace.
Till next time,
Kellie, Growing Younger Everyday